Gail: Ditto what Eric said... try as they may, our spouses/caregivers, friends, relatives and even our medical staff don't "get" what we feel so this is the place where we all come to vent, question and sometimes just to ramble. You can say/ask anything (except for the No Nos on Brian's list). You should never be embarrassed to post a concern/question/statement. I'm so glad I found this site and all of these veteran survivors. They've helped me a lot and I'm sure will continue to do so. p.s. I had to wait 2 weeks post- diagnosis to have my surgery because it was during the holidays and all the docs were going on vacation.