I can relate to this post also. I had one person as my support network when Steve went through treatment (my mum). I come from a large family and am the youngest of 5 children but still only had 1 person to support me while I supported Steve through everything. I am eternally grateful to my mum. Without her and ocf I wouldn't have made it as well as I did, which means Steve would have suffered more. The reason's I get passed onto me why no one ever visited or still visits is "they don't know how to cope with it". When I have tried in the past to talk to one particular person about my fears of losing Steve all I get every time is "we all die one day". I have given up and now talk to no one other than my mum or ocf members. I have never felt so truly alone since all of this began.

I feel everytime I try to talk to other people I am just being a whinger. So I don't talk about it anymore. When Steve was diagnosed we sold up and moved closer to family for support. Well not only did we walk away from our home, our jobs and great friends but we came to a place where we were literaly abandoned upon arrival even though before arriving we were promised all kinds of support. And all I ever feel now from people is "shouldn't you be over this by now" kind of feeling's. They don't say it outright but you just know that's what they are thinking. Not only am I constantly worried about Steve but I'm also grieving for a very happy life that I had to give up. Don't get me wrong I'm extremely grateful that I have Steve here and he is going so well and that's all that really matters in the end but it's still very hard to have your life turned upside down and then be expected not to show that it has affected you. Being a care giver is damn hard, especially when you are promised so much support only to be abandoned by those that you loved. But it makes us care givers tough, that's for sure.

On a recent trip home to see our friends I was extremely touched by 2 friends that actually thought to ask me how I was and how I had coped with everything we have been through over the last 2 years. Everyone asked about Steve and how he was (which is fair enough) but only 2 actually thought of how this may have affected me.