Paula,
My Mom died of cancer at 52 and my Dad of Diabetes at 67. Both times I thought I had known so long that there was no way I would feel grief at either of their deaths. But you can't pre grieve so don't beat your self up that you aren't ready or you would some how be prepared for this time. As I told a friend this weekend who lost her only son at 43 to a sudden death. I don't think the loss every goes away but the sharp edges smooth with time. I will keep you in my prayers.