Minh,

I'm one of those people that believe that nothing should be taken off the table when it comes to getting through this. With that said, I don't believe that antidepressants are the answer without a therapist and counselling.

You are "just" out of treatment, give yourself some time to recover. I'm over 2 years out of rads/chemo and my 1st surgery and I still struggle....but it's gotten better, now I think I'm too active. It's OK to realize how much the hand you were dealt sucks, if you didn't I would really worry about your mental health. I've never known dellusional to turn out well. Sometimes we discount what we've been through because others have gone through worse...but it's all relative.

I do look to others on these boards that have gone through more then I and they inspire me and give me hope. They do not take away what I've been through however. Listening to their stories and reading books like "Mans Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankle gives me perspective and examples of how to keep on going when things are tough and I want to feel sorry for myself.

It's OK to feel that loss, just don't stay there. Bask in the moments with your kids...my boys and my wife are the "why" in the quote in my signature.

Keep your chin up

Eric