Paula

Your post was so poignant, I could not bring myself to reply. But today is Jim's birthday and in the oft chance that you turned to the OCF board for some comfort, I wanted to say that we are all so sorry to hear the PET results. It is so hard to know when TX is not a good option and a very personal choice.
The American Cancer Society has a write up that says it better than I can
[quote]When a person has had many different treatments that did not help stop the cancer, it may mean that it has become resistant to all treatment. At this time it's important to weigh the possible limited benefit of a new treatment against the possible downsides, including the stress of getting treatment and the side effects that go with it. Everyone has a different way of looking at this.

This is likely to be the toughest time in your battle with cancer -- when you have tried everything available and it's just not working anymore. Your doctor may offer you a new treatment, but you need to consider that at some point, continuing treatment is not likely to improve your health or change your survival.

If you want to continue treatment to fight your cancer as long as you can, you still need to think about the chances that it will help. In many cases, your doctor can estimate the response rate for the treatment you are considering. Some people are tempted to try more chemo or radiation, for example, even when their doctors say that the odds of benefit are less than 1%. In this case, you need to think about and understand your reasons for wanting this kind of treatment.

No matter what you decide to do, it is important that you be as comfortable as possible. Make sure you are asking for and getting treatment for any symptoms you might have, such as pain. This type of treatment is called palliative treatment.[/quote]
I hope the birthday went better than you expected.
Charm