"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 | Paula-I'm so very sorry. Try to not think of this as a dress rehearsal for a funeral. Make the best memories you can right now. Neil was pretty upbeat also even when he finally realized the treatments were never going to help. We spent alot of time with his parents and siblings and that was the best thing we could have done. I know how hard it is to put on a brave face but you MUST. There will be plenty of time for tears in the future, unfortunately. You know I come from a place of experience on this subject.
Jim sounds very much like Neil. He was the one who wanted to continue with treatment even after we really knew they were not helping. He only stopped when he couldn't take it physically anymore. Jim will know. I wished Neil had stopped sooner to actually improve the time he had left but like you said-it's his decision.
Take time for yourself. I know this is easier said than done but your stress level is so high right now and you have to remain strong. There is time left to enjoy your husband's company and you want to stay healthy to deal with all this. Please feel free to pm or call me ANYTIME. Stay strong-your husband needs you right now more than ever.
Sue
cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.
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