so i threw up three times yesterday, and a total of 4 times today. Rad onc says its because of the pain patch, and that I will get used to it and stop vomiting. But they also gave me a antinausea med but i will pick it up tomorrow. Day 2 of fluids at home, and somehow I gained 3 lbs since monday even with all that vomiting. And I am vomiting blood, but they arent worried about it, they say it's just coming from my throat being irritated from the vomiting. Oh well.
Also my trach wound isn't healing correctly. I had an abscessed stitch from when they took it out, and they took that out, but now its still oozing and ishy. They gave me a antibiotic, but I cant take it because I cant keep anything i swallow down yet.
I tried the viscous lidocaine and i think i diluted it too much, cuz it really didn't numb anything when i tried it. But I will try it again tomorrow after i try the anti-nausea med.

One thing that confuses me though, they said i shouldn't lose my voice, yet this morning, after i woke up and vomited, i couldn't talk unless i screamed and it only came out as a whisper. My dad thinks it's because of the vomiting, but the rad onc thinks it's from radiation. And I am starting to have problems swallowing already. When I am able to drink water it ends up going down the wrong tube most of the time, and I really don't want to have to relearn how to swallow, so I hope they get this figured out and soon.

Also wish I could use something to get the vomit taste out of my mouth. The biotene toothpaste and baking soda, salt and water solution don't do it, and it's really getting old. Even though I cant taste much, i can still taste that.

Only 14 more treatments left, I just want to get through this. Cant help but get scared when all of this bad stuff happens that they don't tell you about that you aren't even going to make it through radiation and will die. Thats how it was for me this morning. Puking up blood, after the 3 puke session this morning, and i couldn't help but be scared and start crying.