Eric,

I had a husband of 23 years who was a wonderful support through my rollercoaster journey with OC. He took time off work and did all the things that a committed Carer should. I thought that we communicated our fears to each other and that after a few difficult times, for both of us, we were travelling well.

How wrong I was! I found out, purely by chance (fate?) that he had been having an 18 month affair with a younger woman who he claimed was initially supporting him by listening to his concerns about my cancer and the stress that it was causing him! The affair developed from there.

I cannot stress enough that you should get counseling ASAP. You two need to be communicating and if it takes a third person to become involved do it. People deal with the stresses of being a Carer in different ways, just as we OC victims all respond differently to our own situations.

I know that some people are unable to cope and distance themselves, as much as possible, from the reality of this disease. Others (like my husband) seem to cope, but clearly have stresses and concerns that they don't verbalise. SEE A COUNSELOR before too much damage is done. I wish we had!

Sue