so, update on the situation, my fiance got more clarification this weekend. FIL would not want to come to the wedding A) because he might be in reconstruction, and B) he would be too self-conscious and would not be able to talk/participate.
fiance wants to get married, as do i, we are ready and want to spend our life together.
fiance feels caught in the middle of me and his parents.
i make comments that i would rather have his dad feel uncomfortable and BE THERE rather than risk the chance that we delay it to an uncertain time and him not know whats going to happen-- and fiance says he cant think this way, even though he acknowledges that it's possible, he wants to believe his dad will be better a year from now and wont plan assuming otherwise.
however, i also just found out that FIL will be attending my fiance's graduation in may (two months from now)- when i asked why he was not too self conscious to attend that, but would the wedding in september, fiance's response was that he thinks the graduation wont be as hard on his dad because he wont know anyone and he wont need to talk- but the wedding he'll know everyone.
this doesnt make sense to me, can anyone relate? i tried to explain that this is a time where he should be leaning on relatives, not shutting them out, these are the people that know him, love him, and accept him for who he is.
i honestly dont know what to do.
i told fiance we need to sit down and have a face to face meeting all together and hear each other out.