thanks all, i dont really think that he expected us to cancel or change our date, in fact he never said that. the message that was relayed to me through my fiance was that he "probably wouldn't be able to attend". im not sure if that statement was made due to feeling uncomfortable and self conscious, or because he felt he would be in the middle of the surgery.

charm, thank you for the link, i will read and share.
thank you all for your advice and relating to what we are going through. it is very helpful!!!