You can't force him to change; he has to want to. The only thing you can change is how you react to/deal with his behavior. Al-Anon can be very, very helpful in that regard.

Leslie

April 2006: Husband dx by dentist with leukoplakia on tongue. Oral surgeon's biopsy 4/28/06: Moderate dysplasia; pathology report warned of possible "skip effect." ENT's excisional biopsy (got it all) 5/31/06: SCC in situ/small bit superficially invasive. Early detection saves lives.