Thank you for your replies. I appreciate it. I know I will make it, I always do. It just gets a little difficult at times. I should have gotten married when I had the chance! That way I'd have someone to slap me around when I get depressed. As far as the bills, I have gotten to the point where its like buying a car-one I can't drive but I'm alive.It's not that bad, I realize. When I was reading some of the others posts I almost didn't write anything because I'm so lucky. For anyone reading this my heart goes out to you and you have my prayers. I feel like helping other people so much, especially older folks that don't have anyone with them through all of this. I am 45 but feel and look much younger and I don't want to whine. Merry Christmas!