I was given a couple of swallowing exercises by the first speech pathologist I went to (the one from the hospital), which I still try to do once or twice a day. He is kind of easygoing, though, and said "oh, do them once or twice a day" and I'm wondering if I should do them more. Anyway, MY ENT and the other speech pathologist seemed to really think it was more about that my throat was still very swollen that was giving me problems. That sounds hopeful if I assume the throat will eventually unswell. But what if it's permanently that way?

It's hard right now for me not to fear the worst--that I'll be stuck with only this swallowing ability for life. I mean, I know that's better than cancer taking my life but SO much of my (and my husband's) social activity revolves around eating! We live in a small city but a city that has the highest per capita number of restaurants of anyplace in the country (and it used to be the same for bookstores, not sure if that's still true since some small ones closed). Socializing with folks is often about trying a new restuarant or going to one of our favorites. If I can just get to where I can eat soft food like pasta and noodles I think we could still do this but when I'm so limited all of a sudden an evening that revolves around a meal out isn't so much fun. Anyway, it is certainly a motivator to do those exercises.....

And then there's singing. I used to haev a nice voice and I have been hoping eventually I could sing again but if my thorat remians so permanently swollen, maybe not. I guess I'm just facing some of those quality of life things.

I wsa prepared for the drymouth. Not the rest so much.