Ambra,

It's also pretty common that people that people "fade out" when what they perceive as the crisis is over. My experience was a lot like yours. When the obvious "event" is over they think it's done. I had one friend who visited in the hospital and then at home, but after I was back to work, I think I have seen her twice (both at my instigation). I really don't thin k people realize the leftover consequences of this disease. When I explained the recurrence risks to someone, they were shocked, as they had assumed it was over.

Plus, there's all of the psychological effects of going through this, the fight with eating, swallowing, talking, which takes a toll. I'm happy that people say my speech is great, but they don't realize the additional effort it takes (not only in ongoing speech exercises I still do, but also just focusing on certain words which still have some difficulty). It's mentally exhausting.

With a bit of distance now, I realize I have done the same things, although I hope to a lesser extent, with people. For example, when a friend's mom passed away, I cooked for her family for a bit, and checked in, but it didn't occur to me to call on occasions because I thought she had family. Now I realize I should have at least called and made an offer. I'm trying to be better, and really that's all we can do.