Gayle -
Remember that the lack activity is contributing to the depression - endorphens aren't getting a boost. I truly belive that walking our old dog every day helped - also it made him feel more worthwhile and needed.
You might also ask him for something - maybe a shoulder rub? If he's anything like my husband, he's feeling like he's not carrying his part of the load. Not true, of course, but this isn't a rational things.
You could ask the doctor about better living through chemistry if the depression part seems to be an ongoing concern. Some pain relievers work well for their job, but don't make you feel fabulous mentally. Yes, ask about the level of pain relieve, too. My husband found the topicals useful, too.
Hum, about the swallowing. If a doctor or physical therapist 'ordered' it, your tough love would just be following up on professional orders. Chain of command sort of thing. That would also mean that the swallowing was specifically address medically, not a bad thing.
Keep the faith, Gayle - try to get a lunch out with a friend sometime and put the burden down for a bit.
Maria