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#95720 05-18-2009 11:40 PM
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Today it is fear, yesterday it was anger. I want my my life back I want my energy back I want to look forward to digging hols for trees and tilling my garden. I can't even pick up the tiller right now I have no stregth. All of my strength is from within me.

Patty


48
SCC Floor of Mouth 7/06
9/06 Surgery, bilateral neck dissection, 58 nodes clear PT2pN0pMx
35 rad 2006
Recurred 6/08, 1 Carboplatin, 1 Cisplatin
Surgery 9/08 - Total glossectomy, free flap from pectoral muscle, left mandible replaced using fibula
35 IMRT & Erbitux 11/08
4/15/09 recurrence
6/1/09 passed away, rest in peace
Good1 #95722 05-19-2009 03:53 AM
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Patty, you are my friend and I say prayers for you everyday. I wish so much that this wasnt happening to you. I admire you for not giving up hope and being mostly positive. Is your sister there with you now? Im wishing you have a better day being a little stronger and without a fever today.


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #95745 05-19-2009 06:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 388
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Patty, I have to echo what Christine said, including the wish for being empowered with new-found strength and determination. Prayers....JaneP


Husband: 3 SCC gum and cheek cancers 2002, 2005, 2006: surgery only. Scans clear after removal of small, well differentiated, non-invasive cancers. No radiation. 4th SCC lip diagnosed 4/13/07 - in situ, removed in biopsy. More lip removed 2/8/08 - dysplasia. 2 Biopsies 3/17/09 no cancer (lichenoids)
Lostpassword #95751 05-19-2009 07:25 PM
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Posts: 5,260
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I am with these ladies Patty my love, I have nothing but admiration the way your spirit is firing up again, GRRRRRRRRR why didn't you answer the phone a little after ( LOLI probabluy am harder to understand than you and especially as I had just eaten a pancake with Christines favorite known as bueberry syrup. LOL Man that stuff messes with my mouth and speech.


Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
EzJim #95785 05-20-2009 01:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 790
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Thinking of you Patty. You are a very strong woman. Glad you are posting here for strength and comfort. KATE


Tongue Cancer T2 N0 M0 /
Total Glossectomy Due to Location of Tumor

Finished all treatments May 25 2007
Surviving!!!
misskate #95796 05-20-2009 02:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 225
"OCF across the pond"
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Posts: 225
I am thinking of you across the miles and send my prayers.
Hope you get your strength back. I keep up with the fighting strength


Girlfriend to Martin 49 years old at diagnosis
Diagnosed with SCC unknown primary June 2008.
Cancer found in single node Stage N2A (3 to 6cm).
Tonsilectomy 16th june, Radical modified neck dissection left side 30th june.
30 TX radiotherapy ended 9th October
First comparative study scan came back clear
Good1 #95799 05-20-2009 04:25 PM
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Posts: 3,082
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Patty

I know today you were supposed to get news. I hope and pray it was better than you expected, I was thinking about you today at my first treatment of this second round of chemo this morning. After the nurses had blown two veins out and another one was trying to get the IV into a vein on the back of my arm, all an hour late because my MO forgot to fill out the orders, I was livid then remembered just how insignificant this was in comparison to the problems and horrors besetting you. It's okay to be afraid and angry as well as sad. Best wishes.


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
Charm2017 #95800 05-20-2009 04:28 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 718
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Patty,

Count me in as one of your friends who is praying and hoping for the best today!


Margaret
----------
C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.
Good1 #95812 05-20-2009 06:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,338
"OCF Canuck"
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I am in the process of listening (audio book) to "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tole. After listening to about half of it, I would say that the entire book can be summed by by alot of cliches we throw around quite freely...ie...all ANY of us has is NOW - TODAY. None of us know what tomorrow will be, and therefore it is up to each of us to make the most of NOW - to be aware of NOW. When he says be aware of now he is not talking about going for a walk and not appreciating the flowers and the weeds on the sidewalk. He is talking about actually looking at the weeds too and appreciating them for what they are. It is all any of us have. We are not promised another minute or hour or day. All any of us have is NOW.

Yes, I do plan on listening to the 2nd half of the book. And yes, I do find myself thinking about the book from time to time. Working hard to appreciate the NOWness of my life.

Donna


Donna,63, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV.New primary R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 11 yrs from 1st dx, 7 yrs since 2nd dx. Surviving isn't easy,but grateful for EVERY day.Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL!
Pandora99 #95817 05-20-2009 08:07 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 531
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Hi Patty....I know I don't say too much but I just want to send you some more support....I am dealing with many issues but am humbled by your strength and courage...keep up the faith and the living for the NOW is such a wonderful idea!!! Take care my friend

Hugs and Prayers


Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
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