I have passed the time I had surgery last year. But during radiation things didn't go very good for me. As a brief reminder I spent 11 days in ICU 8 of them I was intubated and tied to the bed. The closer it gets to April the more I Obsess about being unconscious for almost 2 weeks. I don't worry so much about the cancer, the damage done by radiation, but this just seems to be getting worst the closer I get to the time it happened. Have any of you experienced anything like this if so what did you do? I know counseling is an option but what do I say I have an obession with a 2 week time period that I will never remember?

Sorry that you are getting so anxious about the dates of your traumatic anniversary. Im sure its a terrible thing for you to relive this. I think this is whats called post traumatic stress syndrome. You will need some counseling and possibly anxiety meds to work thru this. I wish you luck on this journey. I hope you get the help you need so that next year it doesnt bother you so much. The ordeals we have all gone thru is what makes us understand each other so well, its has a name, called something bonding. Im hoping you will be able to get some peace from this.

Seda Bug!

The mental and emotional toll that this disease takes on a person are extreme..they are real and should never be discounted or ignored. Counseling is a great option...and you don't need a specific reason to schedule an appointment, being diagnosed with cancer, going through treatment and living with the aftermath is enough!

This is tough shit, anyone that says it's not is an f'n liar. I mean I pride myself on my attitude and outlook, I'm a stubborn cuss that way...but I still have to guard my thoughts and emotions and don't focus on the hell I've been through. I look forward. I use music, inspirational quotes, books and really great friends and mentors to keep me sharp and focused everyday. If I need to, I'd use chemical assistance or counceling to achieve the results I wanted for my mental and emotional health...by any means possible. Do what you need to do to be at peace...be happy.

I'm thinking about you Bug, keep your chin up!

Eric

Thanks guys, last night was better. I have gone to therapy and I know it is helpful. Today is better I think it is a combination of the anniversary coming up and the stress here at work. But if it represents I will go see someone. It helps to know that I am not the only one who has issues after the treatment.
As to bonding I don't know the name either but it seems when you are involved in groups that have a life death component there is a bonding that takes place. It happened when I was scuba diving. It also has happened with the rescue group. I guess becasue we were forced to literally make life and death decisions almost daily. All Be it for Schnauzers not people but I am convinced my heart doesn't seem to know the difference.

This cancer causes a lot of emotional turmoil. I haev PTSD, and see a psychologist every week. I also take zoloft and xanax to help me sleep. For me just talking about it helps me a lot. i also get a lot of good advice. The most recent was to start journaling my thoughts.

Seda Bug,

I've read reports that said that basically all cancer survivors (and happily there are more and more of us each year) have some degree of PTSD. (I believe the LiveStrong Foundation, Lance Armstrong's group, has done studies on it.) As other have said, don't be ashamed of what you're feeling and do seek help as you need it. Having cancer is hard and surviving it can be even harder. You are definitely NOT alone!

- Margaret

I honestly don't know how any of us can get through this without PTSD. Depression is also VERY common. There is even a special NCCN oncology practice guideline just for stress and depression in cancer patients.