| Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 142 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 142 | I have passed the time I had surgery last year. But during radiation things didn't go very good for me. As a brief reminder I spent 11 days in ICU 8 of them I was intubated and tied to the bed. The closer it gets to April the more I Obsess about being unconscious for almost 2 weeks. I don't worry so much about the cancer, the damage done by radiation, but this just seems to be getting worst the closer I get to the time it happened. Have any of you experienced anything like this if so what did you do? I know counseling is an option but what do I say I have an obession with a 2 week time period that I will never remember?
55 12/17/09 High Grade Muceopidermoid Carcinoma Alerted by Largo my Mini Schnauzer 1/18/10 Clr PET 1/27/10 Surgery found Perineural invasion 3/22/10 Began Rad 05/05/10 34 rads 8/19/10 Clr Pet Scan 12/13/10 Clr Ultra sound/biopsy 5/4/11 MRI Clear 8/2/11 All Clear 5/25/12 All Clear 6/3/2016 All Clear
| | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Sorry that you are getting so anxious about the dates of your traumatic anniversary. Im sure its a terrible thing for you to relive this. I think this is whats called post traumatic stress syndrome. You will need some counseling and possibly anxiety meds to work thru this. I wish you luck on this journey. I hope you get the help you need so that next year it doesnt bother you so much. The ordeals we have all gone thru is what makes us understand each other so well, its has a name, called something bonding. Im hoping you will be able to get some peace from this. ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Seda Bug!
The mental and emotional toll that this disease takes on a person are extreme..they are real and should never be discounted or ignored. Counseling is a great option...and you don't need a specific reason to schedule an appointment, being diagnosed with cancer, going through treatment and living with the aftermath is enough!
This is tough shit, anyone that says it's not is an f'n liar. I mean I pride myself on my attitude and outlook, I'm a stubborn cuss that way...but I still have to guard my thoughts and emotions and don't focus on the hell I've been through. I look forward. I use music, inspirational quotes, books and really great friends and mentors to keep me sharp and focused everyday. If I need to, I'd use chemical assistance or counceling to achieve the results I wanted for my mental and emotional health...by any means possible. Do what you need to do to be at peace...be happy.
I'm thinking about you Bug, keep your chin up!
Eric
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 142 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 142 | Thanks guys, last night was better. I have gone to therapy and I know it is helpful. Today is better I think it is a combination of the anniversary coming up and the stress here at work. But if it represents I will go see someone. It helps to know that I am not the only one who has issues after the treatment. As to bonding I don't know the name either but it seems when you are involved in groups that have a life death component there is a bonding that takes place. It happened when I was scuba diving. It also has happened with the rescue group. I guess becasue we were forced to literally make life and death decisions almost daily. All Be it for Schnauzers not people but I am convinced my heart doesn't seem to know the difference.
55 12/17/09 High Grade Muceopidermoid Carcinoma Alerted by Largo my Mini Schnauzer 1/18/10 Clr PET 1/27/10 Surgery found Perineural invasion 3/22/10 Began Rad 05/05/10 34 rads 8/19/10 Clr Pet Scan 12/13/10 Clr Ultra sound/biopsy 5/4/11 MRI Clear 8/2/11 All Clear 5/25/12 All Clear 6/3/2016 All Clear
| | | | Joined: May 2009 Posts: 1,412 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: May 2009 Posts: 1,412 | This cancer causes a lot of emotional turmoil. I haev PTSD, and see a psychologist every week. I also take zoloft and xanax to help me sleep. For me just talking about it helps me a lot. i also get a lot of good advice. The most recent was to start journaling my thoughts.
Angelia 31 at Dx. DX: 4/30/09, 10/21/09 SCC on floor of mouth, T1NOMO, T2N1M0 TX: 39 IMRT, 8 cisplatin 11/30/09 PET/CT: 11/03/09: Lymph node involvement PEG/PORT: 11/09 TX end: 02/01/10 PET Scan: 04/05/10 clear PEG Out: 06/21/10 Biopsy: 12/23/10: fibrosis HBO: 01/04/11 - ORN Baby girl born 11-30-12
| | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 | Seda Bug,
I've read reports that said that basically all cancer survivors (and happily there are more and more of us each year) have some degree of PTSD. (I believe the LiveStrong Foundation, Lance Armstrong's group, has done studies on it.) As other have said, don't be ashamed of what you're feeling and do seek help as you need it. Having cancer is hard and surviving it can be even harder. You are definitely NOT alone!
- Margaret
Stage IV SCC lt lateral tongue, surgery 5/19/08 (partial gloss/upper neck dissection left side/radial free flap reconstruction) IMRT w/weekly Cisplatin & Erbitux 6/30/08, PEG 1 6/12/08 - out 7/14 (in abdominal wall, not stomach), PEG 2 7/23/08 - out 11/20/08, Tx done 8/18/08 Second SCC tumor, Stage 1, rt mobile tongue, removed 10/18/2016, right neck dissection 12/9/2016 Third SCC tumor, diagnosed, 4/19/2108, rt submandibular mass, HPV-, IMRT w/ weekly Cisplatin, 5/9 - 6/25/2018, PEG 3 5/31/2018
| | | | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | I honestly don't know how any of us can get through this without PTSD. Depression is also VERY common. There is even a special NCCN oncology practice guideline just for stress and depression in cancer patients.
Gary Allsebrook *********************************** Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2 Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy) ________________________________________________________ "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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