| | Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP  Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 | Well my OCF friends, it looks like we are on the last leg of this journey. Jim has been in the palliative car center for the last 4 days and is now sleeping most of the day & no longer awakens to my voice. I am totally distraught and upset beyond my wildest imagination and/or expectations. I really thought I was prepared for this. I keep questioning everything I am doing and have done. His left lung is paralyzed from the tumor growing across the nerve and his right one is filled with pneumonia. So, just thought I'd let you know...please pray for his transition to be a peaceful one...I miss him so much.
Paula
Caregiver to Husband 50 yrs.young-non smoker/non-drinker; Stage IV - all treatments stopped August 2009
Lost the battle November 23, 2010
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 681 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 681 | Paula,
Although I have not posted to you recently, I have been following your travails and have been and will continue to pray for Jim and for strenght for you.
Malka
SCC stage II Partial mandibulectomy w. neck dissection- July 2005. Renal cancer w. partial nephrectomy-Jan 2004. Breast cancer discovered in routine mammogram. Successful lumpectomy, sentinal nodes clear, RT only-2008 Reconstruction of mandible w fibula free flap-Jan 09. TORS removal of begnin pappiloma from esophagus-2010. Masectomy,rt breast 2013.
Support OCF
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 | Oh Paula, I feel so sad for you and Jim. It has been a tough road for you both. I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing. You are and have been a wonderful caregiver to your husband these last 4 years. I will pray for you and Jim.
Anita
Anita (68)
CG to husband, Clark, 79,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22
PEG 7/21
Botox injections
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 | Paula,
I'll light a candle for you and Jim. All my strength and prayers to you both.
- Margaret
Stage IV SCC lt lateral tongue, surgery 5/19/08 (partial gloss/upper neck dissection left side/radial free flap reconstruction) IMRT w/weekly Cisplatin & Erbitux 6/30/08, PEG 1 6/12/08 - out 7/14 (in abdominal wall, not stomach), PEG 2 7/23/08 - out 11/20/08, Tx done 8/18/08
Second SCC tumor, Stage 1, rt mobile tongue, removed 10/18/2016, right neck dissection 12/9/2016
Third SCC tumor, diagnosed, 4/19/2108, rt submandibular mass, HPV-, IMRT w/ weekly Cisplatin, 5/9 - 6/25/2018, PEG 3 5/31/2018
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 | Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers....there's no way to prepare and having followed your posts you shouldn't question yourself,you've done a wonderful job as CG.
CG to H with SCC BOT T4N2cM0 dx 12/19/08, teeth removed pre-tx; Erbitux & RT-done 3/12/09, PEG 2/9/09-7/14/09; ND 6/16. Pet 6/12-no mets except lymph node in neck removed on 6/16. Chyle leak,2nd surg to repair. Dilate esophagus 4/15/10. Clear PET 12/17/10
| | | | | Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 383 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 383 | Paula:
My prayers are with you both.
Steve
SCC right side BOT/FOM; DX 1-25-06; Neck dissection/25% of tongue removed 2-17-06. Stage 2 Recurrence 7-06: IMRTX35 & 3X Cisplatin ended 10-18-06. Tumor found 03/18/13; Partial Glossectomy 03/28/13 left lateral tongue. Nov. 2014; headaches,lump on left side of throat. Radical Neck Dissection 12-17-14; Tumor into nerves/jugular; Surgery successful, IMRTX30 & 7X Erbotux. Scan 06-03-15; NED! 06-02-16; Mets to left Humerus bone and lesion on lungs-here We go again! Never, Ever Give Up!
**** PASSED AWAY 10/8/16 ****
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 | Paula,
I've been following your post. It's human nature to question yourself did I do this right, did I do that, could I have done something else, you did everything you could possible do to help him. You're a wonderful Caregiver, don't question yourself.
You both are in my thoughts and prayers.
Connie
SCC. of the left lateral tongue, anterior two thirds, T1 possibly a T2.
Left partial glossectomy, left selective neck dissection 4/21/09. Nodes clean, No Rad, No Chemo.
CT Scan 9/11 clean, CT Scan 9/12 clean
Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, FL. A+.
My hometown Lockport, NY.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 388 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 388 | Paula, I have no words, but pass to you love, hugs, and gentle prayer in this truly difficult time.
Husband: 3 SCC gum and cheek cancers 2002, 2005, 2006: surgery only. Scans clear after removal of small, well differentiated, non-invasive cancers. No radiation. 4th SCC lip diagnosed 4/13/07 - in situ, removed in biopsy. More lip removed 2/8/08 - dysplasia. 2 Biopsies 3/17/09 no cancer (lichenoids)
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Paula, it has been such a long rough road for you both. I will continue to keep both you and Jim in my daily prayers.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Paula,
I'm sending you all the love I have.
Life is a journey that has a beginning and an end for us. It is the love and memories shared with those we hold dear that make life so sweet...and so hard when the journey ends.
Jim is leaving the pain and struggle and finding peace...he is leaving knowing that he was loved and that he had a companion that loved him and was willing to be there with him until the end of his journey.
As a man who believed my time had come, I can never express the feelings I had (and have) for my wife/caregiver, Aly, knowing she was there with me and for me until I passed on.
Never regret the decisions you made my friend, because it was the decision to stand by Jim that mattered the most.
My heart is with you and Jim...peace be with you both.
Eric
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
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