Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
rozaroo #120263 08-12-2010 05:52 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 177
Senior Member (100+ posts)
Offline
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 177
Emily, I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to try to find words to console you. Just know that your mom loved you very much and having my own daughter, I know how much your care and support meant to your mom. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


Take Care
Wendy


Wendy
46yrs@ DX 9/16/09 T1N0 SCC of leftlat tongue, poorly differentiated.Partial glosectomy 10/01/09 & 10/16/09 & 11/10/09 60-70% tongue removed, Radical fff, 38 nodes-clear, no rads/chemo. 3 petscans-clear

wendys #120294 08-12-2010 06:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 3
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Offline
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 3
Here is the obituary for Emily's mother Freida. She was a wonderful person and will be greatly missed especially by Emily.

http://obituaries.wilsontimes.com/freida-jane-baker


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #120300 08-12-2010 07:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 756
Likes: 1
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 756
Likes: 1
Emily,

Although I never meet either you or your mother in person, I feel I got to know both of you through your posts here on OCF. I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss. I know you loved your mother deeply and rest assured she knew it also. Please accept my sincere condolences for your terrible loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


Susan

SCC R-Lateral tongue, T1N0M0
Age 47 at Dx, non-smoker, casual drinker, HPV-
Surgery: June 2005
RT: Feb-Apr 2006
HBOT: 45 in 2008; 30 in 2013; 30 in 2022 -> Total 105!
Recurrence/Surgeries: Jan & Apr 2010
Biopsy 2/2011: Moderate dysplasia
Surgery 4/2011: Mild dysplasia
Dental issues: 2013-2022 (ORN)
Susan2992 #120302 08-12-2010 07:37 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
EmilyE Offline OP
Senior Member (100+ posts)
OP Offline
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
Hi everyone - thanks for sharing that link christine.
her facebook page is here, also.
freidas facebook

she was such a special person..i cant believe all of the people that were at her funeral. they all couldnt fit in the room..some had to sit in another room and watch the service on tv and others had to watch it on tv in the big atrium. it was so humbling. i cant believe she was my mom. she didnt meet a person that didnt fall in love with her. she was sincerely and genuinely nice to everyone she met..never met a stranger, as they say.
some of her former students sang a beautiful song titled "hallelujah" but rewrote the words to say
"Mrs. Baker, yes we knew your name
Some bad news came yet you smiled the same
you laughed and danced and joked. That's how we knew ya'!
Now on today you've gone away
left us with memories and great things to say with that we lift our voice and cry Hallelujah!"

i still cant wrap my head around all of this..here today, gone tomorrow. my sweet mama. i cant imagine living my life and not sharing all of the details with her. im worried how this will all affect me in the coming days, now that the funeral is over and the people are gone.

i thank you all again for always being there and knowing what to say! i know youve all been there and fought your own battles. this was a wonderful resource for me for many months..i wish i had found you guys sooner!


my mom, age 59.

12/08 surgery & 33x rad
4/09 recurrence
5/09 surgery & 35x rad
12/09 recurrence
1/10 surgery. peg tube, trach, fibula free flap
6/10 recurrence. double chemo treatments.
8/10/10 finally at peace in heaven
ChristineB #120329 08-13-2010 04:25 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,260
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Offline
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,260
How terrible for that to happen. You have every sorrow I can muster as does your family.


Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
EzJim #120397 08-15-2010 05:31 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 135
Senior Member (100+ posts)
Offline
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 135
Oh Emily I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. What a shock.
You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if you wanna talk.

Love ya

Dodie


Aunt diag. 2/4/10 with SCC Stage I/II on left side of tongue. Surgery 2/19/10 part. gloss./neck diss. on left side/free flap from chest muscle. TI/II,NO,MO. Clear margins with perineural invasion. Started rads 4/8/10 - 35 treatments, finished 5/26/10.
penners #120411 08-15-2010 09:16 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 790
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 790
Emily,

I am so sorry to hear of this news ... frown I am so terribly sorry. I know you and your Mom had a very special and unique relationship that is absolutely irreplacable. I would keep a journal and title each entry.. Dear Freida or Dear Mom, and just express your thoughts to her. It will help you get through this tough time... and maybe anytime you want to be in touch with her or feel close to her you could write her here.

I cannot imagine the pain you must be feelings. She was a very special person to you and to all of the students she taught. I wish that she hadn't gotten sick with this terrible disease.

Take good care of yourself because you have a precious baby with you and that is part of your Mom's legacy. In time you will be at peace with her passing - but it will take some time. Be good to yourself.

KATE



Tongue Cancer T2 N0 M0 /
Total Glossectomy Due to Location of Tumor

Finished all treatments May 25 2007
Surviving!!!
misskate #120435 08-16-2010 09:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
EmilyE Offline OP
Senior Member (100+ posts)
OP Offline
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
Hi all..thank u so much for thinking of me.

tomorrow will make a week since her death. last week was a whilrwind of just going through the motions, it felt like it was only a day.

these past 2 days have been the hardest for me, since all the activity with visitors has died down and i find myself alone. i talk to her all the time and ask for her to come to me..i just want to feel her presence but i have not. i pray every night i can at least dream about her but i havent. i keep telling her i dont even care if shes a scary looking ghost, i just want to see her.

my work has been so great, they have told me to take 2 weeks (last week and this week). ive been at home and just cant seem to do anything. i have lots i could be doing in the nursery but i cant stop crying - everything reminds me of her. i know if she could, she would tell me to stop being 'foolish'.I just cant stop crying..I keep thinking about how she died and how
scared she must have been. It was such a violent death. I keep
envisioning her lying the bathroom and jsut bleeding out and I can see the look in her eyes frown I know she was so scared. I wonder if she was able to say anything to my stepdad or if she thought of me. I think this is mostly why I am so sad, not entirely for my loss, but because of how she had to die. It was not peaceful at all..I cant think of a
worse thing to happen to her. I think passing slowly in hospice would
have been better than this, at least we could have all had some time
with her and we could have kissed her and held on to her.
I think sometimes Im just waiting for this to be over and Ill be able
to go see her at her house. I wish that I could feel her presence with me but I havent. Derek says its because Im looking for it. Every night
I pray that I will dream about her and she will talk to me and shell tell me that we'll be together again. That scares me a lot..that after death there is nothing and I wont see her again.


does anyone else ever feel the presence of a loved one that has died?


my mom, age 59.

12/08 surgery & 33x rad
4/09 recurrence
5/09 surgery & 35x rad
12/09 recurrence
1/10 surgery. peg tube, trach, fibula free flap
6/10 recurrence. double chemo treatments.
8/10/10 finally at peace in heaven
EmilyE #120441 08-16-2010 10:11 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 476
Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Offline
Platinum Member (300+ posts)

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 476
Hi Emily. This is all so soon and fresh. My mom will be gone 3 years next month and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. She died from pancreatic cancer and unfortunately the last 2 weeks of her life were horrific. I would have nightmares daily of those last two weeks of her life dying at home. In time the good memories overtook those awful last two weeks. Her life was so much more than the way she died and I tried to remember that. Getting back to work helped to keep my mind occupied and that helped. Grief is something you have to go through and it is painful. I used to call my mom first thing in the morning when I got into work and found myself those first few weeks actually picking up the phone to call her and then catching myself. I used to call her house when I knew my dad was out of the house just to hear her voice on the answering machine. It is a very painful and tough thing to get through.

I do believe that we will eventually see our loved ones again. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things a little easier for you. Be thankful that you had such a close bond with your mom. You will eventually feel her presence with you and you will dream about her. Like I said, it's all so fresh. You are carrying a part of your mom with you always. I feel so honored that I am my mom's daughter and I know you feel the same way about your mom. Be patient and take care of yourself and your baby-to-be. Your mom will be with you always. Sending you a HUGE hug, Wanda


Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009)
1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+)
2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed
Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT
4-15-09 - treatment completed
8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear
4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction
10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives)
11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2
slim #120453 08-16-2010 02:05 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 720
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 720
Oh, Emily, I am sorry. I am about your mom's age, and I have a daughter about your age -- and if I ever find myself in a situation like your mom's, I hope that my daughter will offer as much comfort and support to me as I know you did to your mom. My condolences to you and your family.


Leslie

April 2006: Husband dx by dentist with leukoplakia on tongue. Oral surgeon's biopsy 4/28/06: Moderate dysplasia; pathology report warned of possible "skip effect." ENT's excisional biopsy (got it all) 5/31/06: SCC in situ/small bit superficially invasive. Early detection saves lives.
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Link Copied to Clipboard
Top Posters
ChristineB 10,507
davidcpa 8,311
Cheryld 5,260
EzJim 5,260
Brian Hill 4,864
Newest Members
witchy13, cancerdelangue, Wolfshaman13, DeniseW, Maurizio
13,013 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums23
Topics18,104
Posts196,572
Members13,013
Most Online458
Jan 16th, 2020
OCF Awards

Great Nonprofit OCF 2021 Charity Navigator OCF Guidestar Charity OCF

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5