Hi everyone..cant believe its already been over a week. Feels like it still just happened. The hole in my heart is still just as big, I guess that will never heal. Im going to try to go back to work tomorrow. I know mom is pushing me along telling me to get back. She would never miss a day of work, even on her bad days. She loved to be at work..I remember during my teenage 'hellraising' years, she would tell me she couldnt wait to get back to work with her work family cause I was just driving her nuts.
So many things have been published since shes passed. so many people have shared poems theyve written about her. There was an article in the newspaper today about how our school is mourning our loss (We worked at the same school).
I think Ive gotten better each day, I didnt think Id be this strong. I thought I would completely die when she did. I love her so much..she must be pushing me along. I still feel very isolated and alone without her. Im left in a family FULL of men, aside from my mother in law. I feel like Ive been passed on the torch but I have no idea what to do with it. Like everyone will look at me to do the things she did, which Ill never compare to.
Anyways Im not sure why I still come back here. I guess I feel a connection with you all as I know you truly know what Im going through. Id like to share something that was the closing at her funeral
Resolution of Respect
for
Freida Jane Baker
No matter what your trials are,or how big your mountain seems;
The Lord is there to see youthrough; He'll go to all extremes.
So if your cross seems hard tobear, and you know not what to do;
The One who loves you most of allwill be there to see you through.
We, the members of East Wake Academy,want the family to know that our hearts are with you as we gather to bid aheartfelt good-bye to a valiant woman, the wife of Leonard Baker, mother of Emily Eatmon and Sam Humphrey, mother-in-law of Derek Eatmon, and sister of Toni Boykin.
WHEREAS,Freida Baker was a dedicated wife, mother, teacher, mentor and friend of East Wake Academy .
WHEREAS,Freida Baker was a very independent person who would perform any task, whethermenial or mighty, and instilled in her family and friends to follow herexample. She inspired others with her selfless compassion and vibrant love forlife.
WHEREAS, not only is this a loss of a devotedmother, but also a confident counselor and genuine friend. Freida was a personwho was always available to share an encouraging word and demonstrate unwaveringsupport to students, friends and loved ones.
WHEREAS, the passing of our beloved Freida is thewill of God and there is a human tie that has been broken which bleeds theheart in agony and pain. We are encouraged and consoled in the words of Jesuswho said, "I will never leave thee nor forsake them".
WHEREAS, we will always take delight and comfort inthe millions of memories and the brilliant smiles she always flashed ~ eventhrough adversity. Truly Freida was thewoman that the bible describes in Proverbs:
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her householdand does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that we embrace thefamily because all of us have a common bond that will connect us for the restof your lives. We can never replace Freida, but we will attempt to be aconduit of her amazing love and joyfulspirit.
To the family, we know your loss is deep and your sorrow is great,but we want you to know that we share in your sorrow, but more importantly, werecognize that this loss is truly Heaven's Gain.
When it is all over, we would like you to remember:
In case there's a time when you just need some cheer,
In case there's a problem you would like us to hear,
In case there's a favor you would like us to do-
We're here if you need us to help see you through.
This is how I will remember her, before she got sick
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I am so terribly sorry. I know you and your Mom had a very special and unique relationship that is absolutely irreplacable. I would keep a journal and title each entry.. Dear Freida or Dear Mom, and just express your thoughts to her. It will help you get through this tough time... and maybe anytime you want to be in touch with her or feel close to her you could write her here.