Jenka

I had to smile after reading you post. I can't remember if I put it in one of my early rants here at OCF or if it was a pre-OCF email update to friends but my version was:
"If one more person comes up to me in the hallway and says : oh, you'll do fine, you are such a fighter and so tough, I may just cold cock them with a right cross, knocking them down and asking: Tough enough for you?"
While it is not helpful to wallow in a self pity party, I have been posting more and more about what I term the "tyranny of positive thinking". From where I sit, it's just a sophistry of blame the victim. There needs to be a balance. My cancer did not come back because I harbored "negative energy", it came back because I won the genetic lottery for a radiation and chemo resistant variant. Like the country western song goes by Sugarland explains:

[quote] Now it's poor me, why me, oh me, boring
The same old worn out, blah, blah story
There's no good explanation for it at all

Chorus:
Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over-think it
Let go, laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
The irrefutable, indisputable fact is
It happens[/quote]

Dana,

Well I was certainly not speaking to anyone on this site especially one that hadn't even posted on this topic so please don't assume what I may post is personal unless I write it that way. Oh and BTW my experience comes from owning restaurants in Florida and dealing with servers, bartenders, cooks, chefs, dishwashers, bussers, hostesses, preps, etc since 1990 and being the CPA to 100's of clients that also own bars and restaurants. It was meant to be a funny response to Jim's post but a sad reality is it's true for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I love all my employees (except the ones that steal from me) and treat most of them as if the're my kids.

I am still fighting this lousy stuff too and have been thru more then most 2 people combined, but you know what I am still very positive even with the pain I am having right nor from my jaw where the bone has come thru. a serious thraot infection ans waiting on an aneurysm repair on the lower end where thay couldn't fix it in Jan because it could have killed me, But I am still positive and upbeat, Why be sad when it's so much easier too make others smile. I think I have a problem or 2 but!!!!

Forgot about the pain in my esophagus from having 1/3 of my stomache wrapped around it and still have Barrett's. That is precancerous esophagus. Live on pills and mylanta for that too.

I love this topic..thank you Sara. The thing is...we are going to have both. We are going to be angry, which is natural and important. On the other hand, life is too short to be pissed off all the time. We know being mad is not going to help anything. And yes, I get sick and tired of people saying "you will be fine" "just think positivve" but when I'm alone with my thoughts I am grateful for my life. Yes, it's been harder than I would like, but I appreciate my life more than other people my age.

Charm, As usual it's funny how much we think alike. I still tell new cancer patients that the only thing they can control is their attitude and nutrition...the rest is up to how their body is going to respond to treatment and their team of dr.'s. Where I don't believe that a good attitude helps the outcome of treatment or recurrance it does help those around you cope with the situation. In a way, you have to be strong for the people you love. That's my take on it and definetly not the rule or worth anything then what it is..

David, I've been in hospitality most of my adult career. I managed a national award winning hotel (for customer service, quality assurance, guest satisfaction) while managing two other hotels and consulting on a third. I totally agree on your point and in no way took offense. Finding an employee that gave a sh!t was a difficult thing.

Well as they say . to each his own and this atitude has helped me overlook other things that come up on our menu. My smile will stay on thos ugly face for as long as I stay on this earth.