You stated your wife is the kind that keeps things inside way to long than is good for her. You are walking the thin line.
I have experience with keeping things inside way too long and it was not good for me. When the diagnosis was made I could not cry. I could not say it out loud, I hid by burying myself in research. Then I couldn't breath. Mike walked that thin line too. Kept asking me if I was ok, I kept telling him yes. He kept inquiring, then he saw how I could'nt breath. The crying started and came wave after wave. Then I could breath. He was as relieved of the tension as I was.
Keep asking your wife if she is ok or wants to talk. If she needs to she'll know its ok.
Mostly we are worried we will upset you and don't want to appear selfish and self-absorbed. We think wer're supposed to be stable out of respect for your rightful emotional turmoil.
Hope that made sense.
Ginny