Hi Cheryl,
Martin went through an argumentative "I'll go to work with my staples in, i know better phase". Then 3 weeks into rad he became quiet. After 4 weeks, he did everyhing I said and never argued back. Now that was worrying! Even the dietician notice he didn't answer back.
He is now grumpy and depressed sometimes because he hasn't worked since August 08, and is still not fit enough to work (he's a builder, and office job might work, but not this physical), but much better. We are lucky that I can support the both of us just about on my salary.
Also on the child front, Martin has a 17 year old monster, I mean daughter who lives a 10 minute bus ride away or a 20 minute walk. We didn't see her for 9 weeks while Martin was at his worse. She would phone up on Sunday, ask if we were taking her out anywhere (like shopping in London), so I'd say no your Dad is a bit tired. She'd then decide it was not worth coming. I was SOOOOOOOOOO angry, but I couldn't be bothered with her and i was too exhausted, I had Martin to look after, and a job to do to get money. She never asked for me to come and pick her up (which i would have done had she asked) just for an hour to give her dad a kiss and a cuddle.
Martin is now better and quite disappointed, i think he has fianlly seen that she is not perfect little angel anymore. We now only see her if she wants something.
She lives with her disabled mum (who is also lazy and selfish) and does a lot at home to help her with daily things, but it is no excuse for being a inconsiderate thoughtless cow towards her Dad.
Oooo, I was trying to comfort, but I ended up ranting myself! Sorry!
People are very odd in the way they react. It seems radiation really changes men, and maybe he is trying to fight the acceptance of the cancer by fighting the surgeon. Martin was fighting the feeding tube and swearing and arguing with everyone, until he was so weak he couldn't and he listened (the worrying phase).
I hope your husband improves and listens, keep trying, it's hard.
All the best.