Ruby:

Im so sorry about your situation. I have a few solutions that may help you. I speak from experience, I basically was my own caregiver. My teenage son took me to treatments and that was pretty much the extent of any help I got. If I had to do it again, I would have somehow gotten someone to care for me on a daily basis.

First, the main thing here is your health. What type of place are you being treated at? You mentioned your ent couldnt get clear margins but doesnt think you need any further treatment. That should send up a red flag right away. You really should be looking into getting another opinion even if you are in a small town. The best place for treatments are large facilities that are Cancer Centers. They have the most experience and resources. There are counselors there who will help you with everything, even a visiting nurse or home health aid.

You also mentioned that there was family but they are busy. Have you talked with them? Do they know your condition? Do they know about your husband? Now isnt the time to be proud, ask them for help. Im sure they wouldnt mind helping you, but if they dont know how severe the situation is then they cant help.

My solution to this problem is to move in with a family member who would be able to help you and your husband. Your husband would adapt to the situation. You would have help with him and someone to help you. It could be a temporary thing, but think about it. Dont be afraid to tell your family members the whole story and that you need help.

Please call the American Cancer Society. I had a driver a few times and I live about 40 miles from the hospital I had been treated at. They can also help with medication costs and even a wig if you need one.

Its not just getting to treatments, its also counting your nutrition and fluid intake, taking medications, getting proper rest, picking up prescriptions and keeping appointments straight. You will need lots of help, maybe more than someone else because your husband also needs care.

Please keep posting here so the many caring members of OCF can try to assist you.