Thanks, Sue. I have already gotten helpful responses from 3 people and a phone call that helped. Unfortunately, Paul had a bad day today - a serious 4AM fall ending with a huge lump/abrasion on his forehead that the hospice nurse didn't even mention. (Good huh?)I needed to go buy a shower seat/hand-held shower/new bathmat etc etc etc and had the hospice send a home aid to sit with Paul - he was so angry about this "stranger" bothering him that we had a big fight that required an hour long discussion to resolve. So, how can I bring up respite now? Maybe in a few weeks. Thanks for your care. Jennifer

1st CA 1987- 5 recurrences. partial glossectomy/jaw resection. chemo. so many CAT/MRI I glow in the dark. left side neck radical dissection. teeth all removed. PEG/skin grafts to floor of mouth. insulin dependent brittle diabetic., hearing loss, aortic aneurysm.