My mom is scheduled for another surgery on the 18th because the dr was not happy with the margins on one side. The path report also indicated that her cancer is high grade. We don't get to meet with the dr until next friday so until then, we are just in limbo.

When my mom had her surgery they removed half of her lip all the way down to her chin. The part by her chin (inside) is where the problem is. But during the initial surgery, they went as far as they could. So where do they go now? Are they going to have to remove her jaw? I am just sick over this. She told me that if she doesn't like what the doctor says, she is not going to do anything. She said that she is not going to let them take her apart piece by piece. Can anyone relate to this? I know she is scared. I am too. I thought we were getting off easy at first but it doesn't appear that is going to happen. Also isn't it customary to have a neck disection with a high grade cancer? And if so, what exactly occurs with that? I know it is to remove lymph nodes but is that another disfiguring part of this process. I know it sound like the disfigurement is my main concern, but it is not. It is my moms. Maybe she is focusing on it, because she doesn't want to deal with the reality that this is life threatening but whatever the case may be, her worries are my worries and I am going to help her deal with whatever issues she needs to deal with.

I am hoping that someone can help me to help her get through this. How do I get her to look past the superficial stuff and see that all that is really important is that she fight this? For those of you who have dealt with this, I could really use your advice.