Denise,
Tell your mother that I also had a ND, I have been taking oil portrait classes for a while and "sat" for the class for a few weeks last summer. Some of the students who knew me before and after surgedry did not realize that I was "deformed." We tend to see our own selves much more critically than others do.

Besides, there may not be a need for a ND for her. Being sick and facing more surgery is just part of her fear. There is the real issue of mortality . She needs your support, not necessarily as a cheerleader but just to acknowledge her fear.

There are many here who have faced the same issues and they will be posting. You will see that fear is terrible and hope is a powerful antidote. The hardest part right now is that until the doctor gives a plan of action the brain works overtime on the what-ifs. This happens to firstimers and to those of us who have faced these issues more than once. Be strong and best wishes for a good outcome.