I know that same anger. I am 2 days out from radiation tx, and I get angry and depressed that I am no longer able to eat and drink. The 10 hour surgery and month of recovery was a breeze compared to the nightmare of radiation and chemo side affects. In between my surgery and treatments, I was able to resume eating and drinking as normal. Now if I had to do it over again, I would have a hard time saying yes, despite the fact the radiation and chemo are supposed to eliminate any remaining cancer cells. Maybe I will be able to eat and drink as normal after a short period of time, but it certainly doesn't feel that way. When I spend most of my day spitting up a nasty plegm, and my mouth being a little dry to it makes it nearly impossible to spit out--I get frustrated. I find myself crying about what seemed so insignificant in my life before, but now is a constant reminder that I live with cancer. Trying to find strength in my surroundings, and hope that the next day is there to greet me.

Paul