Hi Steph- The emotions we all go through in just one day are staggering. I don't think anyone can understand it until they go through it themselves. I have days where I can't stop crying(alone of course) and days where I'm very optomistic. I try to remember the "one day at a time" rule and that seems to help. My husband has been very strong but lately he seems so worn out. He is on the Erbitux now and will have another scan soon to see if its working. The medication is taking it's toll on his skin and the poor guy hasn't eaten since September. Still he keeps a good outlook and I guess that's a blessing in itself. Sometimes just counting your blessings can be comforting. Hang in there, Sue