Hi Paul! Im Lyn Im from Melbourne Australia and Im 45. My diag was very similar to yours except it hadnt spread to a lymph node so i was a bit lucky there.
I know its hard but try not to be afraid....go back and read my posts...I was TERRIFIED....the Angels on here helped me through and will do the same for you...They will help you through (and will give you the odd gentle butt kick if they see you sinking too far down into the depression pit! hahaha...btw which i deserved and was grateful for!)
I had 2/3 of the lhs of my tongue removed and reconstructed from my lh wrist (i was a singer...still am...and a pianist) as well as the old neck disection with 34 nodes removed- all clear. Then I had 6 weeks radiation.I HATED THIS...but it goes quickly.
Then, just as I was getting used to being the only patient in our house, a week after I finished radio my Husband was nearly killed in a road accident (bleeding on brain, blood clots, 5 broken ribs, punctured lung total grazes and cuts...AND IN ANOTHER STATE OF AUSTRALIA) and surprisingly although I had to fly to another state to be with him so few days out of radio with a mouth full of ulcers, it took my mind off it. I am thinking your Wife and Baby may do the same for you. Just remember they cant catch it so dont be afraid of touching you need it so do it!!
Im doing OK now and there is no sign of the cancer at this point. My red blood cells are a little low but, hey, I will drink more red wine that should fix it haha! I can talk...I can be understood and the lithsp is almost gone (ok...so I do still lithsp a bit in the morning, Jim, before the dancing troupe awakens heheh).
PAUL! Dont be afraid and PLEASE stick to THIS forum. DO NOT go searching the web for other answers...these guys here are great and they have ALL been there and THEY have their heads screwed on....with a few things added here and there to make them even smarter!!! If you are not comfy with your onco...then find one you are confy with. you HAVE to be able to understand each other. I love mine. He was so cool. You need a relaxed oncologist who wont beat around the bush. Do ALL they tell you and that includes the dietitians, the dentist, the nurses, the ENT guys and the Plastics Team and the pain team and you will get through this. You have a wonderful thing to look forward to...focus on your wife and baby and you will gain power you never knew you had. DONT think "Oh no I wont be here for them" Crap! Yes you will....thats all from me for now. Please contact me if you need to and I will cheer you up if I can. You FOUND YOUR CANCER!! Thats more than a lot of people do til its too late! Good for you!...esp from ulcers (as like me I just thought it was an ulcer...until it became a lump) AND Dont be afraid to whine, cry, whinge, sook and be a wimp here...WE ALL have been and still are at various stages...we are here to support you! I am the biggest wimp there is!!! HAHAH! we will be here for you...but I mean it...no more searching around the net for answers...it will only scare you needlessly. Remember.."one log goes out quickly but a pile of logs burns brightly and for a LOT longer" (yep I stole it...from the Bible I think, so dont go through this on your own!)
Love and Prayers from Australia
Lyn XXX - one kiss for you, one for your Wife, and one for your Baby...who with much positiveness, luck and love ..not to mention the medical geniusus we are lucky enough to have at our disposal, you will be around to see grow into a healthy teen giving you the usual headaches!