 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Michelle,
I think you will be great as a CG. It's obviously not something to look forward to but you will do fine.
As a former patient from hell I will tell you that there will be times when he will lash out at you because he's afraid, depressed, hurt, the whole nine yards but try to let that bounce off because it's really not directed towards you or anyone for that matter. I yelled at my wife plenty and I even wrote her a letter post Tx telling her how sorry I was and then I made some STUPID promises and now she pulls that damn letter out occasionally to remind me. UGH
Try not to get upset around him because he just doesn't need to carry anyone else's burdens during the heat of battle. My wife told me months after my Tx was over that she would get in the car and cry just so I wouldn't see or hear it. That would have made me feel much worse at the time to know I was putting her through that.
Try to learn the difference between soft love and tough love and use them when needed. Tough love may be needed when he just plain refuses to eat or drink and becomes too weak to care. The one most important thing you can do for him is to make sure he drinks at least 48 ozs of water and gets 2000 cals each and every day. Of course there are about 50 other "most important things" you must do but I'll save some for the expert CG ers.
Have you tried to get him to post?
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
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