Have spent loads of my life alone, caring for twins, then my parents, and working my socks off with Special Needs children and then adolescents, then severely autistic kids.
Was ALWAYS 'beholden' to someone/some institution and needing desperately to keep--and excel at--cos that's how I am, my job.
None of it EVER increased my confidence--always felt like the 'poor kid from the Council Estate'.
Cancer is a great leveller--I smile sweetly when sitting in the disabled space on the bus and say 'I have cancer'--sales rep on phone the other day---I said, 'Don't waste your time, haven't got long to live'---LOL!
Neighbors don't see me for ages, then see me going out good--They don't know I 'm going to hospital!
And just about to send in 'sick-note' for 6 months--feel less about that than would have done even 6 months ago!
Guess I'm lucky, that twins are now 33 and have own lives, I have a fabulous new partner who I don't want to leave.
Feel GUILTY cos I should be doing 'domestics' n stuff, but does it matter???

Brenda

Brenda xx