Edeevee - you're right, the new normal does suck! But it does get better. And when the heart wrenching sobs come, let them help to cleanse and soothe the pain and help you to feel compassion for yourself. As a mother, I think the worst imaginable pain is to have something happen to your child. My son's Tx ended almost a year ago and I still feel like there will always be those dark thoughts waiting in the wings.. . .just waiting. And I force myself to consider the good things no matter how small. Last nite, my son and I went to a chinese restaurant. It was wonderful, just looking into his eyes, having a conversation and realizing how lucky we were to have made it this far. Liz - you make a good point - caregivers do need to find their own "new normal".