"And for some of us there is nothing to show for it."

I think this is the big difference. My son is getting better. And yes, there are times when the new normal feels weird. This has happened to me a lot during the past couple of weeks. Things that started just as my son was diagnosed -- and were then promptly put on hold -- have made their way back to the surface again. A grant application, a speaking engagement ... it is hard to deal with these things and separate them from that time when our world fell apart.

In my case though, I can look at my kid. I can see him eat and hear him talk and know that he is getting better. The cancer was awful. What he (and we) went through was horrendous. But we got through to the other side.

I don't know how you deal with it when the one you love doesn't make it. But I am guessing that one way is to help others through -- like you are, by posing these questions and by giving advice and lending an ear and a heart. God bless you for that , Liz. I hope you find peace.