Hello. This my first time posting but have been reading other postings on this site looking for people in the same boat as my husband and myself. It is reassuring to be able to identify with the problems others have faced and see how they have coped. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4, SCC of gingiva and left mandible, 2 nodes positive with 1 node broken through. Surgery Dec. 06 with left mandibulectomy and bone graft from iliac crest, left neck dissection. Radiation x30 concurrently with 3 rounds of high dose Cisplatin. Treatment completed Mar. 14/07. Surgery was well tolerated with quick recovery, chemo & radiation totally wiped out his positive attitude and energy. PEG tube was inserted 3 weeks into his treatment, could have been done earlier but he refused it, trying to make it through on his own. Our biggest problems have been his inability to eat more than liquids (he refuses to eat pureed food)and depression.Depression is being treated with some improvement. He so fears that he will never eat real food again and if he can't eat sees no quality to his life or reason to continue. His recovery has been further complicated by recurrent infections of the mandibular plate securing the bone graft. Tomorrow he will have surgery to remove the plate and scar tissue and reconstruction of left side of his neck.
I am a retired oncology nurse and I have no difficulty dealing with his physical care, dressings, tube feedings, medications etc. but I do have difficulty with the continued depression and hopeless attitude. He sometimes accuses me of not having any sympathy for him and at times I suppose that is true. I have seen patients overcome health challenges so much worse than his. I might add that all his checkups and CT scans have been negative for recurrence at this point. I guess I would like to say to Valerie be thankful for "superman's" attitude and hope he can hang on to it through treatment, just be there for him in case he finds out he isn't "superman".
Thanks for the letting me vent.