Valerie,

Sometimes our "Supermen" need to show their independence. If you hover too much they start feeling like you think they can't do anything and that can affect their ego. And during this time they sometimes need to hold onto any ego they can muster.

It is a real balancing act for you to be there when needed but to not smother. No one should attend an appointment with their medical or radiation oncologist alone. It is too much for one person to digest - so be pushy in that area. You can research and be ready to ask the questions that you both need answered. And sometimes to push the patient to tell the doctor the real truth about pain. Men especially often want to say they are fine and don't need anything stronger than a tylenol - well - that's not gonna cut it during the last part of radiation treatment.

You need to remember to take care of yourself. This is a long journey and it is easy at first for the caregiver to completely lose sight of themselves. Once again, that is a careful balance. As a caregiver you will sacrifice yourself to help your loved one, but remember that you can't help them if you are so tired and frazzled that you can't think straight.

Take care of yourself. Start thinking now about who you can ask for help later on. And when help is offered - TAKE IT. I don't think I would have made it through this far in the journey without the support I received from here.

Take care - take a walk - take nap. You'll need them.