Lily, my husband took really good care of me while I went through surgery, rad, and chemo. Not until I was well again, did he have a serious heart surgery, where I became the caregiver. While I was the perfect patient (grin), he was NOT. Part of this is the male desire to be in charge, I am sure. His condition was not at all the same as cancer, but I learned that I had to just back off, and let him do what he wanted. I made sure he ate and had the proper meds, and otherwise just let him defy doctor's orders as far as what he was not supposed to do. I think backing off is the hardest part for those of us who have a desire to nuture, but I have decided that the male brain is not going to allow us to do what we think is necessary. It is an understatment to say there were some raised voices (grin), but eventually everything got back to normal, to my amazement. I am sure your male patient is just asserting his "right" to make his own decisions. You are not fired, just usurping what he sees as his rightful place to decide what happens. Lily, you are part of a great sisterhood. We understand.