Lily - Try to hang in there - being irritable and distant and depressed is part of the whole recovery process. There are good days and bad days. My son - during his worst recovery days - was definitely not a "happy camper". The loss of a previous way of life with the control and responsibilities one is used to is difficult to adjust to. We did a lot of text msging and laptop writing to communicate when I was taking care of him. At one point, it was almost funny the way he got so excited when furiously typing a msg on his laptop and finally started to yell out loud (well, as much as he could manage with the pain it caused him) about something he was unhappy about. Maybe if you talk to him about your feelings without being accusatory, he might get an idea of how difficult it is sometimes, just being the caregiver. The 3 or 4 weeks after radiation are usually the worst for the patient/survivor but it does get better after that. Is he on any medication for pain? Perhaps you could let his doctor know about his mood and whether it might be depression or if he needs something else. Lots of people get depressed about thi time and it is difficult to see a loved one in such distress. Sometimes all you can do is just hold him gently or touch his hand. Your 18 yr old must also be worried and feeling the change. Please reassure him/her that things do get better gradually. Perhaps the upcoming empty nest will give you and your husband a chance to find some special moments to re-connect. Do let us know what happens.