Please don't take this the wrong way, but if this is how YOU are feeling...........just imagine how HE is feeling. Having a wonderful husband who was a fantastic caregiver, I KNOW the feelings and emotions that a caregiver experiences first hand. I also know the feelings and emotions that the patient, the one whose life is threatened, feels and they are two different levels. With that said, I don't doubt at all that your husband is depressed. The reality of possibly dying and horrible treatments that make you feel sick in a way you never imagined have a way of doing that to the best of us! We live our lives with this imagined safety net, we all believe that we will live to a ripe old age. When we're diagnosed with cancer, it rips that safety net away and we live with a fear that only a cancer patient can understand. My husband doesn't understand the depth of my fears, even though he's been with me the entire way. I live in a different "world" then he does now, a world where it's a reality that I could die from cancer. Yes, he's scared that I might die............but, cold as it is to say, if I die, he still continues to live. His WAY of life is threatened, but his LIFE isn't..........and that makes a difference, in my opinion.
3 months past treatment isn't a very long time. At three months I was still not eating very well and it's the time when my depression set in, big time. All of a sudden I realized that none of this was temporary, it wasn't a bad dream, I wasn't waking up any time soon. I wasn't doing anything to actively fight the cancer and my energy level was low. If your energy level is low and you're exhausted, imagine how his body feels after this brutal treatment? Give him more time. I am not saying baby him and enable him to lock himself in a room or zone out in front of the TV.........getting out and walking is a good thing. This is the perfect place for you to vent your feelings and all of us will understand.............and then we will help you understand that his feelings are huge right now, and it sounds like he's not sharing them. Try something small to begin with, such as a walk each evening, or at least sitting outside in a chair. You said he's back to work? He's probably very tired by the time he gets home, like I said, three months post treatment isn't that long. Many of us took a year or so to get our energy levels even close to normal.
Wishing you much luck and hoping you don't think I'm knocking your feelings........your feelings are real and need to be vented. At the same time, his are also very real AND he has to deal with the physical beating he has taken at the same time.
Take care,
Minnie