Hello All!!

as I read your messages, tears are coming down my checks....I can't see the bloody typing keys anymore!!!

Cindy, you have point out a major factor. I DO FEEL I CAN DO IT ALL...truely. Usually I am the one who takes care of everybody, people's kids, who cooks for them, give them rides, drop them here and there etc.. perhaps my head is in the sand??

I have taking many of your advices; I have started to cook and freeze, now I will make sure I do it small portions. I've done the phone list on the fridge.

The NZ school system is quite different then in US, Canada or Europe, kids are back to school from summer holidays this coming Tuesday so I will talk to the teachers again especially to confirm the radiotherapy. I am a bit reluctant with my job issue. They are aware of everything and they are very supportive. I will have to think how I am going to approach this one.

If you guys have a quick read at my posting "To Peg or not to Peg?" well, we're still thinking about it and yesterday David has asked me to make the decision for him..."OH, BOY"! He seems more incline to accept the PEG but he really, really doesn't want to have it. So I might end up in the next few months with a "radiated" husband with no PEG with the potential consequences...as I know you know. I simply told him that whatever he'll decide I will respect his choice and help him with his feeding by preparing absolutely everything. I am a nurse so we are going to ask if he can have an IV ( H-lock) so I hydrate him at home. We have made a decision to exercise everyday during the radiation, even if it is to walk to the corner of the street. David wants to bike to the hospital for the radiation (10 minutes from our house by car), I said "it's great idea and if you can't bike one day, we'll just drive"....fffew!

As a vote of confidence to myself from myself, I have resumed a long forgetten passion of mine; fencing. It starts next week 1 night/week. David was pleased to hear that I was getting back to it. Hopefully I won't become a weapon of mass destruction??!!


So I will take you all as my therapists and ventilate whatever emotions will surface. I have print out your letters again and put them in my diary. I would like to say that I am SO SO greatful to you ALL. Lately I feel very very far from home and yes quite alone although I am surrounded by incredibly generous, kind friends here in NZ.

Au revoir

Marie-Lyne