When my husband was diagnosed my boys were 8 and 10.5. I coach soccer and they are active in scouts and they were both taking piano lessons at the time. I was also (still am) in Law School and we own our own business.

I sat my children down and told them the facts and what was going to happen. Then I told them that we were all going to have to sacrifice something so that we could deal with our new situation. So I told them to choose one activity and the others would have to go on hold until a later time.

It was not an easy decision but they both chose scouts and we took a break from soccer and music. I also explained to them that their friends could not come over and spend the night or play in the house and that there were going to be times when they would have to be more than helpful.

In the beginning the treatments started with a bang. Harry got violently sick within 24 hours of his first chemo tx. From that moment on for the next 6 months things went from bad to worse. The boys would have to stay home after school for a couple of hours before I got home. We would eat what friends brought over or order out. I had no energy to cook.

The boys were very helpful and while they did not like the way things were I think they understood. By the last week of radiation I had to really push Harry to finish and he was very sick. He had missed a few treatments that had to be made up because of all of the illness that the chemo helped bring on. He finished his rad tx in March and his chemo in May. By the middle of April he was bed ridden. He could not walk or control his functions and he was too weak to eat or drink.

Now I am not trying to scare you with all of this because by the end of July he was driving and working and we even went to Disney World. It was an amazing comeback after the txs were finished and now the boys are back in soccer, I am back to coaching, their friends can come over again, etc etc.....

If you try to do it all you will be useless to your family so do yourself a favor now and minimize things while you can do it on your own terms. Have the kids choose an activity, consider taking a leave from your job, cook many meals and freeze them for easy heating later.

And always remember that the things you are giving up are temporary. It might seem like forever as you go through it but I assure you it will pass and you can get back to normal. Or something that resembles normal at least.

Honesty with the kids is the best policy. Use age appropriate examples and language to explain what is going on, what is likely to happen, and how they can be helpful.

My kids really liked it when they got to help. When I explained the reasons for not having other people in the house, especially other kids, I just told them that dad's body didn't have the weapons to fight a cold the way that we do. My youngest explained to me that he knew all about white blood cells and he explained how they help your body to fight the bad guys.

So find a way to explain things that you know each of your children will understand, then everyone makes their sacrifices, and at some point in the not to distant future the txs will be just a memory.

Trust me on this most important point....

I am a very strong person as I have always been the "rock" in my family. I know my role well yet for the first time in my life I encountered something that could wear me down so badly, sometimes without my even realizing it, and that something was cancer. Use your strength to prepare, then rest because you will need it. Call on your friends... they wouldn't be your friends if they didn't intend to be there for you. Asking for help is the hardest thing for we "rocks" but it is what is best so don't be afraid or ashamed to ask.

Most importantly, take each day as it comes, one at a time, and before you realize it, David will be done with the hard part and on the road to recovery and survivorship!!!

Best of luck to you and your family!

Cindy