G'day!
I am trying to get my head around the site as I am new to it. People have been very helpful in responding to my question about the PEG tube but now I think I am the one who need a bit of help in preparing myself with what is ahead.
Just introduce us a wee bit, my husband David who is 45 has been dx on 10th January 06 with a SCC of the base of the tongue. I'm 42. Although we saw it come since September 05 but the biopsies where always negative and nothing was conclusive on any scans that that he had a SCC, it is still surreal. The docs processed to a radical neck dissection on the 10th and then made the dx. He had 2/36 right nodes infiltated, encapsulated with clear margins, 1st node is 3.4 cm at the larger end and 2nd one is 0.6mm. We are accepting the whole situation but it did hit us like a brick in the face as D's has absolutely no behaviour normally associated with this CA. Actually he has such a great lifestyle and is so in good shape, it really came out of nowhere. We need to do the staging but from all our readings he is probably a stage 3 or 4 depending of the site we read!! So following the radical on 01/10/05, he had 9 teeth extracted on 01/27/05, he's in the process of deciding if he will have a PEG tube and in 2.5 weeks he will start 7 weeks of radiation.
Now this is why I am writing to you. We have 3 children; Esther is 12, Victor-Luc is 10 and Philippe is 6. I think we have managed to explained and live well so far. My dilemna now is how I am going to managed them when David will have his radiation. From what I read and listen to people's experiences, at one point during the radiotherapy David will need to make sure that all his energy is focused on making through the day.
Just to give you the picture; we don't have any family here in NZ (everyone is back in Montreal), we are not religious so we don't belong to a church group ( but my Victo-Luc is religious and belives in God so I go to church with him when he wants to go BUT I don't want to get involved more then this), we have very close friends but I don't want to burden them too much, I coach my son's softball team and 3 my kids are very active with tennis, music lessons, more softball and baseball, soccer etc and I work 2 days a week. I normally run the show of this " family department" as many moms do. I am thinking of quiting my job although I just LOVE it and I like to think I make a difference. I am a practice nurse. I work with high needs communities. You see protitution is legal in NZ so I work with drugs addicts, sex workers and people who have physical and emotional VERY tough lifestyles.
Back to my little family. I don't want to chase the children around the house making sure they're not making any noise. I don't want David to live in our bedroom and be isolated and I have noticed that his patience is already running down with Philippe who is 6. I don't want my kiddies to be terrorised by their dad's suffering but I want them to be able to live our "family's cancer chapter" as I think it is an important lesson from and for life(which I would have preferred they would have to live at an older age).
Emotionally and psychologically, I am a bit afraid for Esther who is starting puberty (and on the so verge of having her first periods...oh boy!) and she has D's personnality; everything is kept inside. Victor-Luc is more excentric. He will be able talk to me and I think he will be able to verbalise his feelings and fear. Philippe is capable of so much compation, it's scarry to observe but he is only 6. As for myself,I am not sure where it's coming from, but I am solid like a rock and I seem not to need any drugs or massive wine intake for that...so far!!??
As anyone in a similar situation can advise me or perhaps share their experience. I am trying to prepare myself so it runs as smoothly as it can in these circomtences.
Sorry for this very long letter but I think the better I am prepared, the most "efficient" I can be to my
"Fabulous 4".
cheerio, Marie-Lyne
