Hi Cindy,
Keep in mind that Harry is only a couple months past end of treatment, he probably has a tough time seeing beyond himself right now. Working on the marital problems right now and wanting him to act on his words may be setting you both up for failure at this stage of treatment. I couldn't imagine having to deal with marital problems in his physical and mental shape. He is probably deep in the part of this process that has us possesed by fear of the cancer coming back and a certainty that we are going to die. I know at two months out it consumed me.
Don't be so hard on yourself or on Harry. You may be asking to much of him and of yourself. Marital problems are no easy issue and I'm not making light of them, but you may help Harry more by putting them on a back burner now and let him focus on beginning to feel normal again. Speaking from a patients end, at two months out of treatment I certainly wasn't thinking rationally.
Take care,
Minnie