I had a similar experience to Joan. My dad was Dx'd with non-hodgkins lymphoma and given 6 months also and survived about a month (actually you have to have 6 months or less to live or they can't write the order for hospice care until then). I think in many cases the doctors wait too long to order hospice care. Sometimes you have to press them (as I did). Because the body starts to shut down in the end phases the pain centers shut down as well mitigating the pain issues. My dad also wanted to be at home in his own bed which we were able to honor. Although given whatever pain meds he wanted, his preference was plain old tylenol. He wanted a clear head throughout everything and was quite lucid right up until the end. It wasn't a pretty death -he basically died of cachexia (wasting). He simply just was not able to eat much in the end. He was about 80 lbs at his death. It was hard to watch -at times in many ways it was like leaving a flashlight on and watching the bulb dim until it flickers out. There are many markers along the way to indicate and predict status and the hospice people will educate all of the caregivers about that.

The hospice people were terrific. They took the mystery out of it, provided training and counseling, visiting nurses, bathers, assist devices, nutritional aids, pain management, etc. They were only a phone call away at all times. I would trust them if I, personally, were in that situation.

Like Ed's mom, my dad never complained and told me the day before he died that he was "going to beat it" - and he did in his own way. We had time to express to each other how we felt and it was a profoundly spiritual experience.