Hello Lori,

My name is Dan Bogan and I live in Kaukauna, Wisconsin. I read your post and feel that being
a caregiver is just as diffucult as being the one with cancer. You are to be congradulated on all you have done for your husband. I was DX with stage 4 tonsil cancer and endured a 15 hour surgery and 33 treatments of IMRT radiation.

I was lucky to have married a Nurse 32 years ago and without her as my caregiver I would have been lost. After about a month post surgery I started doing things for myself. I have fed myself for 5 months through the PEG tube. It's not very hard to do. The biggest challeng for me was to eat orally. I had no appetite. I staeted to eat about 10 days ago weather I was hungry or not. Once I did this my appetite came back within 1 week.

Also have your husband set goals for himself. For awhile I was showering and shaving about twice a week. Not like me at all. Now it's a priority to eat breakfast, shower and shave. One feels much better after a good shower mentally. I was no longer wallowing in the "poor me attitude". I also can do all the laundry and clean the house. I love to cook and I realized I have to eat softer foods but still get the nutrition I need daily. I was down from normal weight of 150 lbs. to 121 lbs. after the surgery. Not a pretty sight. I gained back all my weight in 6 weeks using the Jevity through the tube.

My wife and caregiver got a prescription for anxiety to help her thru such a stressful time in our lives. It helped her allot. You may want to talk to your doctor about that.

I wish you all the besr and like all my friends here at OCF told me, Measure your progress in weeks and months not days.

P.S. To Gary & Mark, Did you hear the new term after the Super Bowl halftime show? Another new term that I'm sure I spelled wrong!!! Dan
"Wardrobe Malfunction"

Your Friend, Dan Bogan