Thanks to all caregivers who have been posting on this site...I have been reading constantly. I have posted questions and comments on the other areas of the OCF but this is the first time I'm posting for ME.

Life is so very frustrating as my husband is in his 15th week post treatment and still has to use the PEG tube to eat. He was diagnosed with stage III tonsil SCC in August 2003 and treatment began in September 2003. 3 days after receiving his last of 35 radiation treatments and 6 chemo treatments he was admitted for 2nd & 3rd degree burns. 3 weeks after being released from the hospital he was re-admitted with a bronical infection. On Jan. 5, 2004 he had to have hernia surgery, something that developed as a result of all the spitting and coughing during treatment.

Our life is still turned upside down. We have been blessed with remission now but recovery is still so very very slow. I am finding it harder and harder to keep his spirits up. I had to return to work full time mid-November 2003. I am fortunate enough to only have to work 3 days/week but my days are 13 hours long. Each work day includes waking up at 4am, getting myself ready, feeding my husband via PEG tube, working all day, returning to feed him again (thank goodness he can now drink Carnation instant breakfast while I'm gone, cause before I would have to feed him again at 11 or 12 at night to make sure he got all his calories/nutrition) and help him with other personal care issues because his hernia makes it difficult to move around, only to wake up and do it again the next day. By my first day off I'm exhausted.

When he was going through treatments my 20 yr old daughter moved in to help out and my sister and mom helped all the time. Since it has been so long after treatment the help has dwindled. I understand because they all have jobs and lives too, but it is very difficult to continue at this pace for 6 months. I am going to my doctor tomorrow in hopes of getting some relief...I am having muscle spasms and jaw tightening, as well as gaining weight and I know these are a direct result of stress.

What have any of you done? Thanks for letting me vent. I know you all understand and have been through worse then me.

Lorie

Lorie/wife of Don, DX:8-7-03, Tonsil cancer left side stage III, IMRT x 35, 6 chemo (Cisplatin/Taxol), clear CT Scan 12-26-2003. Mets to both lungs & AML 11-6-05, mets to brain Jan 2006, mets to liver & bones April 2006, passed away July 20, 2006.