Thanks Donna and David...i think i just get really scared when i read about lots of people on here who have had serious 'permanant' problems after radiation...like teeth loss/decay, hair loss, permanantly scarred and/or burnt face, loss/change of taste, loss of saliva glands, inability to eat salty or spicy foods, skin sensitivity...etc etc...if i were to get even two of these things for life when at the moment i am told I dont have cancer as they got it all, i dont see the point...I was told by the doctors who did the operation I probably wouildnt need rad therapy, then when i get to the cancer clinic one RO makes a new decicion that I will need it...and within a week or so. I have had NO time to let this sink in and I am so afraid...not of dying, of how much more of my quality of life will be affected (i was a singer/musician..im not either anymore) I am told they are just giving me the radiation as a precaution due to close margins or the tumour to the edge of my tongue. Why didnt they take more if we are talking in mm?If i were to get checked every month or so, would this not be as good a a precaution? in other words then, if the cancer returned (and i was likely to die) could i have the radiation then or would it be too late? My RO looks at me as if i am nuts when i tell him i am afraid of the therapy (like "of what?" and "why theres nothing to it!") I just wish I had just ONE doctor that had experienced radiation to REALLY know what I (all of us) fear. I am so scared. I really appreciate your help thank you. Please dont think i am taking this lightly or I am a coward...I just feel like my life has already been compromised enough...do i really want to risk losing any more? My husband is caring for me and he is home all of the time as he is a returned soldier (oddly enough I am his carer as he has PTSD from serving in Timor) So we care for each other now. He knows the frustration of not being 'yourself' just in a different way I guess. He doesnt let me sulk for too long though haha. thanks again...please if you have time let me know what you think. love from Lyn
