Thank you all for your kind words.

I'm afraid I'm the one who is falling apart this time around.

The boys are 16 and 13. My oldest is worried about providing for the family, while the youngest is more worried about "having something to remember his father by" I've assured them both that Dad will make it through the surgery.

What neither remember is the alcoholic, belligerant man I dealt with five years ago. Granted, he hasn't had a drink in three years, but I still feel slighted. I saw him through this bullshit one time. I begged him to stop smoking, but NO. He wouldn't. Now I'm the one who has to once again parent these boys by myself? I'm so angry! Why does this disease give him the right to give his all to his job, second to me and his children...........and third to death?


Thank you all for hearing me ramble. It means the world.

Mandi

Stage III tonsil, Dx 8/14/2002,chemo and rad...reoccurance 8/3/07,Base of Tongue,vocal cords,stage IVA,total larynectomy and glossectomy 9/4/07 with pec flap...reoccurance Nov. '08 and Feb. '09 (positive margins remained after each operation) Second pec flap May 7, 2009. Still positive margins.