Hello Everyone....

Thank You again for all your support!

It was a rough 7 days in the hospital. It is truly unbelievable what the body can endure. And until you go through it, is beyond the scope of ones normal imagination.

I have had 5 major surgeries before this. The worst was one of my motorcycle accidents, even though confined to the tibia, fibula and the talus being crushed between a car and a motorcycle. It would not "set", and needed surgical repair. I had to wait 10 days for surgery (swelling) therefore requiring the braking of the bones as they had started healing, and installing all the new hardware.
Upon awakening to a pain scale of 15, and screaming at the top of my lungs, this was by far the most painful of all.

So I thought this surgery would not be that bad. But when the operation involves the inside your mouth and neck, the psychological level goes up upon awakening. It was not the pain level. This was managed well. For Me, it was the communication and confinement that was the worst. Many here said it would be tough, and I thought I was mentally and physically prepared. The pain was an issue, but it was handled. It was the mental part.

If not for this forum I would have freaked out. Because you did tell me exactly what would happen. I did not "listen" to exactly what you said would happen. BUT I WAS TOLD BEFOREHAND! Somewhere I heard all your voices in unison, one step and sometimes one moment at a time. And you got me through as promised, in that deep and oh so dark time of need and helplessness.

Many topics and people went through my mind and I became them. I was the normal, nasty, noncompliant, meanest SOB you wanted to ever meet. I swore at the nurses and caregivers. I said many, many nasty things. My own wife, mother and daughter "walked out" on me on their last ICU visit which was Monday. I cussed out and hung up the phone on my sister. Why do I always hurt the ones I love? I would not eat the last 1 1/2 days. I cried myself to sleep on many nights. But I still thanked God and prayed for our troops every morning and every night. I can not imagine what a soldier in combat goes through. Unless you have been there, one can only imagine. I'm getting tired now. I need to take my medicines. My Uncle Jim and Aunt Arlene from PA. Have been lurking in the background here and sent me a beautiful card at the hospital. Thank You for your thoughts and prayers. I Love You!

Thank You All for holding my hand. Signed: "A Perfect Weenie"